I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
