Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
