in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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