careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
