I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
