thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
