What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
