i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
