Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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