IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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