Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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