yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
