She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
