can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
