I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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