he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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