Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
