I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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