i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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