sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
