Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think a kid would responsible me up
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
