Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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