So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
