If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
