sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
