Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
