When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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