ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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