Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
