I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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