Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i've created a new STD.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
