if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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