Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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