buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
