My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
