Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
