when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
