what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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