he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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