It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
