I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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