she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
