i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
