I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
