hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
