i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Actions speak louder than pants.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
