Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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