wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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