He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
