If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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