i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
