I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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