you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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