I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
