Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
