god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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